Moving Forward When It's All Falling Apart

time for The Artist's Way

I threw up this morning.

I suppose it had been a long time coming. My nervous system has been absolutely fried for weeks now.

This most recent mercury retrograde was a particular doozy for me. Every past trauma in my rolodex decided to come back for a guest appearance.

sort of like this I guess

I seemingly have made it through to the other side of this haunted trauma portal, although not without a little bonus heartbreak to tie it all off.

I am fine though. Things have been so intense that I have decided to throw all caution and morals to the wind and waste our planet’s precious water resources by asking ChatGPT if it thinks I will be okay and if I am okay.

ChatGPT has reassured me that I will be okay and I am okay because it is programmed to tell me what I want to hear. When prompted to say something nice about me for this Substack, it provided the following words of encouragement:

Well there you have it! I’m a healed person now.

During this retrograde I have also been so overwhelmed by personal matters and mostly hanging out “off the grid”¹ that I honestly haven’t had too much time to focus on the fact that the world is becoming an increasingly violent unlivable hellscape, so now that I am back to “reality” there is that too.

this is normal now apparently

Nonetheless, I must get some kind of job, or at least, figure out some way to acquire capital in this capitalist society so that I can… be a … “contributing” member of… society?

Nothing particularly comes to mind though, so I decided I will do “The Artist’s Way” now.

the go to book for people without any direction like me

Doechii famously did The Artist’s Way² and now she is a great success with a Grammy, so I don’t know. Couldn’t hurt.

Perhaps I will document some of this journey on Substack? Maybe I will finally get around to making a YouTube channel? Who knows what’s going to happen.

I do hope more clowning is involved, whatever is next for me.

goals

It just seems like the natural thing to do when literally everything is falling apart and burning to the ground. Maybe all the Peggy Lee synchronicities I saw earlier make sense now. Thanks, Universe.

1. I spent much of this summer in wooded areas without great cell reception

2. I think after being fired from Chipotle